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The Best and Worst Products I got off the Internet

13 November 2007, 00:37 | Review, Humour

I’ve been slipping back into my old internet-shopping self lately. Since I figured out how to buy stuff off the internet, I’ve bought some great stuff. Stuff that I could only get through the internet. Limited run books, CD’s and DVD’s that weren’t open to me before became a reality. However, internet shopping also brings up problems for the inexperienced shopper: the impulse buy. It was a long, hard road to enlightenment, and several really stupid things were purchased off the internet before I figured out how to differentiate between things that I would actually enjoy, and http://www.flowbee.com/ that belong only on late night infomercials.

So I’ve collected a list of sorts, to showcase the best and worst things I’ve ever bought off the internet.

The Best

These items are useful. The decision to purchase these items spanned more than 3 seconds. And I believe the results show.

Wacom Tablet

Good God, this thing is sweet. I had a smaller Wacom before this, and loved it as well.
Awesome Rating: 10/10

Mixman DJ Hardware

The first experience I had with making loop-based music. Really fun when I was younger. Recently I found out that this thing can be used as a midi controller, so I’m probably gonna pull it off the shelf soon.
Awesome Rating: 8/10

CD’s
DragonForce – The hardest metal known to man.
Girl Talk – I’ve spoken about Girl Talk in previous posts. His earlier work is much more noise-based. Still good though. I got him to sign both of them, which is awesome.
U.S.E. – Seattle Dance Band.
Combined Awesome Rating: 8/10

Various DVD’s
D.A.F.T. – Collection of Daft Punk’s early videos. Excellent.
Undergrads Season 1 – A great show that never got past season 1.
Enter The Dragon Motion Graphics DVD – Several design studios created typefaces and motion graphics to show them off. A good range of work here.
Combined Awesome Rating: 9/10

The Worst

The stuff that no human being needs, ever, ever. The purchase of these items are probably some of the most embarrassing moments of my life now.

Throwing Stars/Knives

Can you not afford to have these? Sharp blades that you throw as they will “stick to” (impale) things. Wood, plastic, and flesh. It’s fun for all ages.
Stupidity Rating: 6/10

Training Nun chucks

See, this ones weird, because, Donatello was actually my favorite Ninja Turtle. This one is also weird, because WHO BUYS TRAINING NUN CHUCKS? Seriously? There not even real nun chucks! And why would that make it better? I’m probably lucky that real nun chucks are illegal in Canada, because I hit myself in the face several times with these before getting bored with them.
Stupidity Rating: 8/10

Sai’s and Accompanying Training Manual.

Wear as the Nun chucks I could pass off as a joke, and the throwing stars and knives as movie props, nothing like that could be said for sai’s, ancient weapons from Japan. Weapons that were originally used to counter swords. For some reason I figure I needed to become equipped, train and prepare for a SWORD attack, a weapon that has been outdated since the early nineteenth century.
Stupidity Rating: 10/10

Anime Drawing Book(s)

This is it, the worst thing(s) I’ve drudge up from the bowls of the internet. Long before before I could draw (READ: Before I actively pursued trying to get better at drawing), I figured the best way to learn was to buy terrible anime drawing books. I not only didn’t get better at drawing, I got worse. As I poured over those books, I could actually feel any skill I did have leaving my head along with my sanity, social skills, and hygiene habits. I don’t have the books anymore, I’ve long since put drawing anime out of my life. I switched to trying to draw like somebody else.

The worst part? Not even that into anime. I had such poor taste in what was good and bad art, that I figured anime was the best role model. Although, I can draw great looking tentacles now.
Stupidity Rating: Over 9000!




In closing, when you see a product on ebay, amazon, or any other site, wait 24 hours before hitting the buy button.